Like a Boss
by sentbyfools
Summary: Lonely Island is magic, and the kids are skilled in a variety of ways. Part 2 of Constant Vigilance.


**title: **like a boss

**summary + a/n: **AU. Lonely Island is magic, and the kids are skilled in a variety of ways. For a prompt on the 1stclasskink meme. Part 2 of Constant Vigilance.

* * *

><p><strong>i. <strong>

Hank throws back the shot, the alcohol a barely there burn down his throat as he gulps it down. Raven is eyeing him across the table like she's never seen him before, and Sean pats him on a shoulder, says, "Dude, you're a beast."

He looks at the rows of empty shot glasses on the table and feels a thread of pride course through him.

"Enhanced metabolism, everything after the first shot is a breeze," Hank explains.

Raven stands up from the table, her chair scraping against the floor loudly in the quiet kitchen. It's just him, Sean, and Raven; Charles and Erik had retired to their nightly chess game hours ago, and everyone else was in bed.

When Raven walks around the table, and leans over the table and half-hugs him, he nearly spills the glass he'd lifted from the table.

She smiles at him, her face only a few inches from his face. Her perfume is strong, and her hair is falling in her face in a way that reminds him absurdly of Cousin Itt. Her voice is barely above a whisper when she slides the shot out of his hand, and says, "You should let your inner beast out more often. I like it."

Her smile widens as she steps away from him, takes the shot, and then slams the empty glass down next to the others.

She walks out of the kitchen, and when she's disappeared down the hall, he looks at Sean, who's expression of confusion mirrors his own.

"That was weird," Sean says.

He shrugs, grabs the bottle of whiskey, says, "Bottoms up," before chugging the bottle, and Hank shrugs, too, and grabs for the other bottle.

* * *

><p><strong>ii.<strong>

Alex knows he's strong, prides himself on his strength, so when Angel laughingly challenges him to an arm-wrestling contest, he gives her a confused look.

"I - I don't think so," he says, "You're a girl."

She smiles at him with all her teeth (that should've been his clue) and says, "So, it should be easy."

He shrugs, says, "Okay then," and they setup on one of the picnic tables outside.

Sean and Armando follow them, because - "I'm bored," Sean says, and Armando nods, agreeing.

"On the count of three," Raven says, showing up out of nowhere, and somehow designating herself as the referee.

He presses his elbow into the table, lines up his arm with Angel's, and grips her smaller hand in his. It'll be over in a minute, but it'll be a minute spent not being bored; he just has to make sure not to hurt her. He doesn't want Angel on his bad side. He may be able to shoot fire out of his chest, but she can fly and shoot fireballs. She has the advantage.

"1, 2, 3."

Alex is right. It's over in a minute, but he stares dumbly at Angel. Somehow it's his hand that's on the table.

"What?" he says stupidly.

"Dude," Sean says, the admiration clear in his tone.

When he gathers his senses about him, he says, "Rematch?"

Angel smiles at him again, the same smile as before, and says, "Sure."

This time, he's focused, doesn't give his mind over to worry over Angel.

This time, it's over in two minutes, but the results are the same.

Angel stands up and high-fives Raven. "Boys are so _easy_," she says to Raven, and then turns to Armando and Sean, and says, "Any other takers?"

No one volunteers, and Alex is left sitting at the picnic table with a newfound respect for Angel.

* * *

><p><strong>iii. <strong>

"What are you listening to?" Raven asks Armando, and he turns to look at her, removing the headphones from his ears.

The music is loud enough for the sound to echo lightly in the empty room.

"Ke$ha," he admits, and Raven smiles.

"I knew it sounded familiar."

She spots the speakers across the room, and takes the iPod out of Armando's hands.

"Wanna dance?" she asks, plugging the iPod into the speaker dock. Armando stretches out his hand, and she takes it.

Usually when Raven dances with someone she has to focus on them, make sure that they don't step on her feet, mess up her rhythm. With Armando, she can focus on the song. His hands are always in the right position, and his hips move with hers, never missing a beat, and when she takes a step, he steps with her, already knowing where she wants to go.

The song switches from Ke$ha to Ciara, and the tempo slows, and for the first time she can remember since she was 14 and dancing with Henry at the Valentine's Day dance (her first one), it's Raven that stumbles.

Armando catches her though, leads her skillfully into the beat, and she laughs happily.

"You are amazing," she says, and he turns in his arms so that she is facing him.

"You're not too bad yourself," he says, grinning, and then he spins her again, and they laugh together, and dance around the room.

* * *

><p><strong>iv.<strong>

They're at a park, an idea suggested by Raven in a fit of boredom, and somehow they'd all agreed and piled into the family van (driven by Armando, the general consensus that he'd be the least likely to crash) and arrived at a park just a half-hour out from the mansion.

Sean's not exactly sure what they're supposed to do now that they're here, but Raven and Angel are on the swings, and Armando's spinning Hank around on the big spinner, so Sean dodges the little kids running around, and heads towards the slide, all too aware of how weird they look.

He starts to climb the chain ladder up to the slide, but stops when he hears a sound beneath him like crying.

It is crying he discovers when he twists around on the ladder and looks down to see a little boy, about three or four, he guesses. The kid's crying, little fists swiping at his tears, and Sean has no idea what to do.

"Uh," he says, starting to climb down, and looking around wildly for an adult of some kind. Someone more equipped to handle this.

What he finds is Alex, and he thinks, _this is just great_, but then Alex is leaning down next to the kid.

"What's wrong?" he asks, and when the kid continues to cry, he puts a hand on the boy's shoulder, and continues, "Did you want to go on the slide?"

The boy nods, but continues to cry. For a moment, he just cries, but then he says, "I can't get up that high. I just fall."

Alex smiles at him, and Sean thinks, _this is weird,_ but has enough foresight to scramble down from the ladder. The next moment, Alex tells the kid, "I'll help you. I won't let you fall this time."

The boy takes his hands from his face and fixes Alex with a disbelieving look, but Alex just continues to smile at him, and says, "I promise."

The boy lets out a shaky "okay" and walks over to the ladder. He grabs the rungs and starts to climb, and Alex guides him, not letting him go until he's reached the top of the slide.

The kid looks down at Alex, and Alex nods at him before he sits down and pushes himself down the slide. When he reaches the bottom, he's laughing, and Alex smiles at him, and says, "See, I knew you could do it."

"Thanks," the boy says, before running across the yard to a woman Sean can tell is his mother.

"Dude," he says, and Alex looks at him and shrugs before walking away.

By the time, they pile themselves tiredly in the car to leave, Alex has made friends with all the little kids and their moms', and made no less than three promises to return.

* * *

><p><strong>v. <strong>

"How do you keep winning?" Angel asks, sliding the last of her money into the large pile of bills in front of Raven.

Raven smiles at her and says offhandedly, "I'm lucky, I guess."

Hank, Alex, and Armando have long since given up, losing all their money in the first few rounds of the poker game, but Angel and Sean had chosen to keep playing, even though Raven kept winning every game.

Now, Angel is out, and for the life of her, she can't figure out how Raven keeps winning. She's played plenty of games of poker to know when someone was cheating, and unless Raven has somehow come up with a completely new method, Angel is certain that isn't it.

She watches the rest of the game avidly, trying to figure out Raven's trick, but by the time Sean folds, cursing as he shoves his last handful of bills across the table, Angel still hasn't figured it out.

"Really," she says, as she helps Raven reorganize the deck of cards, "how did you win?"

Raven smiles at her, brushing a couple of red hairs out of her face.

"A magician never reveals her secrets."

* * *

><p><strong>vi. <strong>

"What's your favourite Harry Potter novel?" Hank asks.

"Never read it, no interest in wizards," Alex says, and Hank rolls his eyes.

"You, Raven?"

Raven grins and says, "I like Prisoner of Azkaban. Sirius Black is my kind of guy."

Angel laughs, and Hank turns to Armando who says, "Goblet of Fire. That's really the novel where Rowling's writing picks up and the story actually starts to be more than just a year of boring things and then a fight scene. It's where Harry starts to grow up."

"The best one is Sorcerer's Stone," Sean says, and Hank cringes.

"Really? Sorcerer's Stone? It doesn't really have much literary merit," Hank says.

Sean sits up from his lounging position on the couch and says, his tone more serious than Hank has ever heard it, "That is the only novel where Rowling explores the outsider point of view, the only novel in which we get to see the Wizarding world through the eyes of a Muggle. They are the people who we're supposed to want to protect from Lord Voldemort, the marginalized group we're supposed to sympathize with, feel pity for, and the only time we have any sort of insight on how they fit into a world where magic exists only for a select few is that first chapter of Sorcerer's Stone. Rowling does an excellent job of setting up this atmosphere where the reader _can_ put themselves in Vernon Dursley's shoes. There are weird people in weird clothing wandering the streets - it must be some kind of goths or other hoodlums; owls are flying around in daylight - something must be wrong. That cat can't possibly be reading a sign - you push that thought to the back of your mind, go on with your day. Sorcerer's Stone has literary merit if only for that reason and that reason alone."

For a minute the room is silent, and Hank takes that minute to process what Sean has said.

"You were high when you read that novel, weren't you?" Alex asks.

Sean grins, leans back in his chair, and says, "Yeah."

Alex starts to say something else, but Hank cuts him off: "Sean, you do that much literary analysis when high?"

Sean smirks. "It's a gift, I know."

Hank doesn't disagree.


End file.
